I should be selected for this exhibit because I am the embodiment of kitsch. A velvet Elvis hangs proudly over my fireplace mantle. My bathroom is adorned with kissing chalkware fish. I own not one, but two garden gnomes. My kitsch credentials are bar none. You can’t have a kitsch exhibit without me. It just wouldn’t be right.

Furthermore, I believe that my flamingo is an excellent specimen of kitschiness. There is something inherently amusing about taking something as non-threatening as a flamingo and trying to make it look menacing, only to succeed in making it look ridiculously goofy. I have also used the tools and materials of classical kitsch; a hot glue gun, pipe cleaners, and stuff from around the house (butter knives and plastic forks). My only regret is that I was unable to use Christmas lights and rhinestones somehow. If there is doubt remaining in your mind as to whether or not my flamingo should be put into the exhibition just ask yourself this question- Do any of the other flamingos submitted have two heads? I didn’t think so. And lets face it, two heads really are better than one.

Aside from all that, you should select me for this exhibit because I could really use the exposure. I would never bore you with a list of awards that I have won, because I have never won any. I have been painting and creating other art for about four years, but I am just now trying my hand at competitions. I have a single solo exhibition to my name, and that is it. Please do me a favor and help me pad my resume.

All that being said, here is my somewhat boring bio:

·        Born in Lodi, California - May 15, 1977

·        Graduated from CSU Sacramento with a BA in the biological sciences in 2001

·        Currently pursuing a masters degree in Cellular and Molecular Biology

·        Working full-time as an Air Pollution Specialist monitoring particulate matter concentrations

Scott is an emerging artist who lives in Sacramento, California. He gains inspiration from his studies in biology and chemistry as well as from his vivid and surreal dreams. He is completely self-taught, which has allowed his art to evolve independently, resulting in works that are quite apart from those of other contemporary artists. His works range wildly in style from dada to pure abstraction.